YOUR VIEW: ARE RELATIONSHIPS A MUST?

We’re back with YOUR VIEW 2.0 !!!!

I’m excited to reopen this monthly series and I hope you guys enjoy it!

Introducing our first guests on Your View 2.0…

I’m Mojisola, I’m a business student. I’m a designer and I write in my free time. I enjoy reading and hanging out with my friends

Hii. I’m Ifeoluwa. I’m a student of OOU, studying Industrial chemistry. I’m also a web developer. I can crochet, and I love to believe I’m a good dancer. In my leisure time, I love watching BTS videos, listening to music, and watching movies. In the future, I would love help children and women who are in need of help. I detest homophobia and misogyny so much. I love to crack jokes, I believe I’m funny. I’m more of a social media person I think. I dislike cooking, but weirdly, once in a while, I get the urge to cook. I can play Ludo fairly well though it’s been a while since I played it.

My name is Naomi, a writer, reader and occasional blogger. I’m also a music lover. I spend my time watching YouTube videos on journals and unboxing gadgets. And the most important detail about me is that I’m a huge BTS fan.

1. How would you define a relationship?

Moji: I used to think the concept of relationships was very simple and straightforward. Boy likes girl, Girl likes boy, they date, fall in love, get married and live happily ever after. But maturing is realizing that it’s way more than that.

I understand that the concept of relationships may vary from person to person.
To me, The true meaning of a relationship is to find the person with whom you are most compatible, to love them with all of your being, provide support and love to that person through anything and everything. Love hard, with everything you’ve got.

This person doesn’t even have to be a romantic partner, I feel there is a general misconception that the term “relationship” is only for two people who love each other romantically , go on dates, kiss…. all of that.
If you have parents that you love, or siblings that you love or even your friends that you care so much about, then you share a relationship with them.

Ife: I think a relationship, in this context simply means a romantic or sexual involvement ,or both,with other person(s).

Naomi: To me, a relationship is a connection between two people where love and companionship can be provided and it can either be platonic or romantic.

2. What’s your relationship status?

Moji: Single Pringle baby!

Ife: Uhmm I’m single I guess.

Naomi: Singleee

3. Do you think relationships should be compulsory, or they’re just additional fixtures to your life, just like friendships?

Moji: You don’t have to have a relationship if you don’t want to. It’s important to note that relationships can take on many different forms, and you don’t need to buy into any particular kind of relationship, if it doesn’t work for you.

Ife: A relationship should be enjoyed. If it’s compulsory then I feel like it has lost it purpose. So no, relationship shouldn’t be compulsory,that way, it’ll be more fun.

Naomi: I don’t think relationships should be compulsory because honestly not everyone needs a romantic partner. Some people are better off with just platonic relationships rather than the whole romance stuff.

4. Why do you think people find it hard to believe that some people are just not interested in relationships?

Moji: I don’t exactly have the right answer to this. I just think because we’re humans, we are required to share certain aspects of our lives with a special person, some people just find it hard to believe when you say you’re uninterested in a relationship, Most people think it’s just an avoidant excuse. For me personally, I enjoy being single, I’m not lonely, I have friends and family that I share my happy and sad moments with, I am loved at home and I’m perfectly okay being single, I have just enough time and energy to focus on my own interests and goals. Relationships needs time, committment and Maturity to make things work out. It would take a lot of efforts and investment on my part and I do not have the bandwidth to accommodate that at the moment and some people just don’t get that.

Ife: I think such people are just scared of being alone. Or should I say lonely? I think lonely goes best. They think others feel the same…..

Naomi: I guess it’s rooted in the societal belief that everyone needs a life companion. Someone you can grow old with. Anyone who thinks otherwise is seen as being “childish” and doesn’t know what they want yet.

5. Based on my perspective, there was a time when being single was embarrassing and meant you were unloved. These days, people realise that being in a relationship is not the flex people used to think it was. What are your thoughts on this?

Moji: I think society has a huge role to play in this, society puts a lot of pressure on people to be in relationships, especially at certain ages or milestones. I think more people are becoming more self aware, you really don’t have to be in a relationship or have a companion to thrive . Just do what feels right for you, whether that means being in a relationship, being single, or something in between.

Ife: It’s true. Being in a relationship is not a flex. Being single may also not be a flex. For me, your relationship status doesn’t really make a difference. it won’t change the way I see you or anything. The only thing is, for my friends in healthy relationships, It feels good to know that there’s someone else out there who is down bad for you. Someone who’ll be there for them even than a friend. Must be nice I guess.

Naomi: Honestly I’d say everyone should do what makes them happy because there are some people who’ll still argue with you right now that being in a relationship is a huge flex.

6. Do you believe society is one of the primary reasons people feel like they HAVE to be in a relationship, even if it is not with someone they want to be with, in the long term?

Moji: Yes, I feel society often puts pressure on people to conform to certain norms and expectations and that includes the expectations to form romantic relationships. Chances are majority of people have most likely felt pressured at one point or another. It could have been from your friend, your parents or just a feeling you get from social media . Pressure only exists if you feel it sha.

Ife: I think I believe so. Hell, I’ve seen people being in relationships just because being single feels like a bad thing to them. I knew someone who said she had to be in a relationship just because she has to get married 2 years post graduation (her parents have her life planned out for her), and she has a goal for at least 4 years courtship. So she felt the need to be in a relationship as quick as possible.

Naomi: Yes, definitely. Society plays a huge role in pushing people into relationships even though they don’t want to just because they want to belong. There have been times I’ve wanted to jump into relationships just because society made me feel like I had to at my age (I’m not even old fgs, I’m 21!!!)

7. I am at the stage where I’m perfectly comfortable with being single, and I do not plan to settle until I find my husband. Are you still in the phase of wanting to explore more, or do you want to find “the one”?

Moji: I’m also very comfortable being single, I’m young and I’m in that phase where I want to explore every aspect of my life. I want to explore new careers, hobbies, friendships, prioritize my personal growth and also have the freedom to do what I want. If “The one” comes along the way and he’s patient enough to wait, Fine and if not, it’s also fine. My being single is not something necessarily imposed on me by a lack of options. It’s a choice I make for myself. My happiness and well being is all that matters to me and that’s what will always come first.

Ife: To be honest, at this point, I’m not focused on anything aside my education and BTS. God forbid, but if love comes along the way, I’ll just go with the flow.

Naomi: First off, does “the one” exist? I don’t really believe in the existence of the one. Anyways, to answer your question, I’m neither exploring nor looking for one. Life is currently kicking my ass, I don’t even have time to think of romance 😂

8. What do you think of people that can’t help but be in a relationship; they just can’t be single?

Moji: I feel some people think that being in a relationship somehow gives them value. Some people are so used to the idea that they have to be dating someone, they have to have someone who is telling them they look beautiful, or they have to seek gratification from someone. Everyone needs to be able to see their own worth through their own eyes before allowing someone else to judge it. You need to stop and figure out who you are before trying to decide who you are going to be with, because people change, and a lot of times they change very differently. There’s more to life than constantly wanting to be loved or wanted.

Ife: I think the first step for them is to learn to love themselves more. Be comfortable with yourself. Once self love is there, I feel they’ll be able to understand that you can be by yourself and be happy and contented. That doesn’t mean they shouldn’t ever get in a relationship, but that’ll be only because it’s what they actually want and not just because they can’t stand being single.

Naomi: If you’re referring to people who go from one relationship to another, I won’t say it’s that they can’t be single but rather they’re looking for love and companionship in the wrong place. What people need to realize is that most times you don’t actually need a romantic partner but rather good friends, after all friends provide companionship and they also show love.

9. What are your deal breakers in a partner?

Moji: Lack of respect, lack of emotional intelligence, Dishonesty, Lack of understanding, Abuse of any kind, Lack of boundaries, Cheating, someone who has no goals or aims in life ,Entitlement, Having no sense of humor, Someone who isn’t kind, someone who isn’t open minded, someone who’s overly jealous, controlling or insecure , Bad hygiene…. Etc

Ife: I hope I interpreted the meaning right. But for me, I think it’s cheating, abuse, disrespect and misogyny. The lists goes on, but I’ll just leave these.

Naomi: Lack of communication is a major deal breaker for me. If you’re going to be busy let me know rather than disappearing and appearing when you feel like. Another one is lack of interest in what I’m telling or showing you. How can I be telling you about something I’m excited to work on and you’re being nonchalant?? I need someone who’d be happy with me and offer useful advice.

10. Say something to your current/future partner.

Moji: Dear future partner, I don’t know if we’ve met yet, when or where we’d meet too. But if we decide to be together, that means there’s something about you I find extraordinary, and I sincerely hope there’s something about me you find extraordinary too. One thing I know for sure is I’m going to be the loveliest, smartest, sweetest, sexiest, nastiest, most creative, most beautiful, funny and loving woman you’d ever meet. It might take a long while before we get together, but hang in there, be patient. I just might be the greatest thing to happen to you and I hope it’s the same for me too. I’d probably make you read this article too

Ife: You’ll be the luckiest person to have me.

Naomi: When coming into my life come with books, money and BTS albums/merch. Thank you ❤️

I personally am at a place where I feel like, “yeah a relationship would be nice but I don’t really need one”.

I’m working on myself right now. Certain things have happened recently that made a realise that I still need to time for myself.

To my future partner, I’m working on me right now so I can be the best human for you and not a liability so you better be working on you too cause I’m not a handyman and I’m not planning to fix/teach or settle.

I hope you guys enjoyed today’s post! If you’d like to know the guests better,

Moji: Instagram- @moji.ola_
Twitter- @Mjboss11
Snap chat- @Moo_ji20

Ife: Sc/Twitter: armyThatsblack

Naomi: Instagram- blackswan.xo Blog- naomixbooks.home.blog

Also, I’ve been more active on my Tiktok so if you want to get to know me more, you can check it out. Check out my Pinterest and Instagram as well, they’re always linked (in their icons) at the end of each post.

Share your thoughts in the comments. Are relationships a must or not?