OPEN RELATIONSHIP OR NAH?

Hey guysss! So basically this last week has just been me sitting at home, working on this post, binge watching the season 2 of Umbrella academy, reading Master of the game and Mistress of the game by Sidney Sheldon and listening to Burna boy’s new album “Twice as Tall” on repeat. I’ve been hearing news that schools might reopen next month but to be honest, I don’t really know what I think cause one thing Corona has made me realize is that whatever I think, doesn’t really count cause what will happen will happen.

It is what it is boo…

Getting on to today’s post, the topic should say it all but in case you don’t still get it, we’re tackling OPEN RELATIONSHIPS! YuPpO!

You and your man/woman boo decide that you want to be together but still want to enjoy the perks of being single, not fully being attached to someone. To me, it’s just a case of YOU CAN’T EAT YOUR CAKE AND HAVE IT! That’s just me though, let’s see what our blog guests think about it.

Introducing the blog guests…

Well Mr Hunter 🙂 is going by T in this post, aii? 😊

Q/A

1. There are different views of open relationships to different people, what is it to you?

E: So Open relationship is the ”agreement” between partners in a marriage or relationship that allows them have sexual relations with others.

M: Honestly , I hate the idea of an open relationship. I do not understand why people get involved in open relationships.
I like my man to myself only .

B: I think an open relationship is one where both partners have a mutual agreement on having sexual relationships with others.

T: A relationship where one or both partners can have multiple sexual partners outside of the relationship.

O: An Open relationships is one  which means two people agree to an emotional and intimate relationship and also agree to a possibility of being intimate with other people.

J: I think being in an open relationship is a very bad idea in my opinion because feelings are bound to get hurt

2. What do you think is the main cause of open relationships?

E: I think the main cause of open relationships is the inability to be committed to one person.

M: Fear of commitment and an unnecessary way of wanting to feel mature. People feel very proud of being in open relationships just like when they feel good about being able to handle threesomes. Like ko necesstry

B: Personally I feel like it’s  fear and not also understanding the actual meaning of commitment probably a misconception of what commitment and love is
Because I mean if you love as Christ loved the church well I really don’t think it can be open. Also at times people believe that they have excess love and can love more than one person at once which I find hard to believe sha 

T: I think people do it for like the thrill or excitement or joy they think it brings.

O: I think the main cause is the fear of being with one person through an extended period of time.

J: Fear of Commitment because if you where okay with commitment you wouldn’t be looking for another guy to satisfy you🙃.

3. Do you think that maybe it has to do with fear? Like if the person is struggling with committment?

E: Yes, the person might be scared of commitment.

M: Definitely!

B: Oh yes definitely, it has to do with fear.

T: I don’t think it has to do with fear just maybe a need to try new things.

O: Exactly as I said in the latter answer, a lot of people have fear with commitment which is a major reason why a lot of relationships don’t work.

J: If the person isn’t struggling with commitment they wouldn’t be going for an open relationship.

4. Is that or should that still be occurring in our era/generation?

E: I think it’s normal for it to be happening in this era, there are a lot of thing that have been normalized by this generation and Open relationship is one of them.

M: It shouldn’t tbh
We just have a lot of people with misplaced priorities and small heartbreak with a little bit of rejection experiences and they totally conclude that they hate love and look to movies to convince them that open relationships are better, come off it sir /ma, you’ll be lonely forever.

B: I feel like it’s not actually a surprise that it’s happening in this era but I don’t think it should cause I’m against it personally.

T: If they can make it work, why not.

O: I think it’s inevitable because people go through different things and we’re also different by nature.

J: I don’t think it should be happening. I don’t even think it should be happening at all. At the end, it’ll end in tears😂😂.

5. Why do you think that most women feel like it’s okay for the guys to cheat but they have to be faithful? Could it be as a result of societal conditioning?

E: Yes, I think the society expects more from women and that’s why most women don’t get away with it.

M: Definitely!
These men know that all they have to do is act manly ,say a few things and he’ll fix his relationship but as women we get caught and it’s over no fixing 60% of the time.

B: I feel like from the beginning, most mothers have raised their children to think that “Boys will be boys” so when a guy cheats, that’s fine cause boys will be boys. Also cases like, if a woman’s husband dies and she wants to remarry, people will say “You that your husband just died” or they’d start criticising her but if it’s a man, they’ll say he’s just moving on. So yes, societal conditioning is the cause and it is very very wrong!

T: I think it’s been normalised, men cheating, everyone’s used to it so much now that its no longer a big deal.

O: Yeah, a lot of guys cheat and get away with it because of societal conditioning, girls do too but we can say guys get away with it more, unarguably. Some guys do it as a thing of pride and it’s very stupid.

J: Societal condition is one of the major reasons why like in Nigeria for example if a girl cheats on a guy what some people think will be she’s a prostitute then start calling them names but if it’s a guy they begin hailing him. Very sad.

6. If a guy and a lady want to be in an open relationship, should lines be drawn at certain points or it’s just “I get to do whatever I want whether I’m dating you or not?

E: I think this is based on the agreement they have but however lines should be drawn.

M: If you are gonna be in an open relationship do it well.
No one owes anyone any explanations
It comes with the freedom to do whatever I think. Never been in one so 🚶🏽‍♀️🚶🏽‍♀️🚶🏽‍♀️🚶🏽‍♀️

B: To start off me I don’t support this open relationship thing at all
But if someone is in an open relationship I think two things that the person must be is tolerant and forgiving cause if you set boundaries and the person crosses the boundaries cause it’s in human nature to do different things when given a certain level of privilege and freedom.

T: Can lines ever be drawn if the relationship is an open one?

O: An Open relationship means you and I are getting into an emotional and intimate relationship BUT we also agree to a possibility of either of us also getting intimate with others so any guidelines would null the agreement because I dont see what guidelines would be added that would still make it what it is.

J: I think so because once again feelings will obviously get hurt and then distrust comes to play and they end up separating.

7. If a guy/lady you really really like wants to be in an open relationship with you, what’s your impulse response?

E: I personally don’t like open relationships so I’ll try and talk to him about it, if he doesn’t agree, we move regardless lol…

M: You must be joking…

B: Me Beverly Asibor I can’t do it o God forbid Casue when I love someone or something I love with my whole heart and guard it jealously so me I can’t do it 
I’ll rather pass please 
Cause I’ll enter and I’ll now shed premium tears abeg o

T: That’s a hell no for me

O: I cant get into an open relationships cause I don’t like the idea of her getting intimate with anyone else so I’d tell her I can’t, but I’d still try to coerce her into a normal type relationship 😂

J: I don’t think so because once again feelings will obviously get hurt and then distrust comes to play and we’ll end up separating.

8. How is committment defined in an open relationship?

E: I don’t think there’s anything like commitment in an open relationship cause you might be committed to someone that is committed to another person.

B: Maybe that’s the point of setting boundaries or they feel like no matter how this person may go with others but the thought is still there that they’ll still be back to you.

M: I don’t think the word commitment should be used in open relationships.

T: I’ve never been in one so i wouldn’t know but i think they still communicate like a normal relationship and all and asides having sexual relations outside the relationship everything else is like how a normal relationship would be.

O: I do not in any way think there is a form of commitment in open relationship therefore it does not relate. The other person in the relationship is just a tag like; “I’m in a relationship with Dadada”, that’s all there is to it.

J: I don’t know 😂😂.

9. Do you think love can exist between partners in an open relationship or do you think it’s just a contentious relationship?

E: I think if they have that much love for each other they won’t want to share their partner with anyone  buttttt love might still exist between them.

M: It goes both ways
I feel people develop feelings but never act on them but stick to the sexual part of it.

B: Honestly with the way I understand love to be now I don’t think True long lasting love can exist in that kind of relationship
But honestly it depends on how the people involved are
But rethinking about this it’s not possible to love someone and not get jealous if the person is seen in the same light as you are but again maybe it’s just me.

T: I honestly don’t think it can.

O: Love has loads of definitions and to a lot of people and a little part of me, yes I do think love can exist in an open relationship but I’d rather not share my love with a third party and or others.

J: I don’t think love can exist between two partners in open relationship because honestly if you love someone you wouldn’t want to “share” the person and I believe if think you love someone and you’re still going around with other people that isn’t love at all.

10. Final thoughts on open relationships?

E: I feel agreement is key in an open relationship.

M: Don’t do it!
Fix yourself and love with all your heart
If it breaks I dey sell glue
You’ll be fine at the end
Nothing good comes easy

B: So firstly I feel like if you’re entering an open relationship you should prepare your tolerance to a very high level but I personally I don’t believe in it.

T: It’s dumb and i don’t know why you’d want to have multiple sexual partners while being in a committed relationship.

O: Open relationships aren’t a terrible idea or anything but I dont see myself engaging it because I don’t think it’ll end well.

J: I feel that open relationships don’t end well because as much as the person says they’re okay with it they end up hurting themselves and even makes their fear of Commitment worse.

So it’s pretty clearrrrrrrrrr that ain’t nobody want no f*ck me f*ck the other guy relationship!

You wanna be with me? Then you gotta be ALL IN boo 🤩

Cause for me, I see it as

Your life is a car (whatever one you want) and you’re the one steering it, controlling the brakes and gears. You can decide to steer yourself in any direction cause it’s your life but being in a committed relationship with someone means, you’re taking one hand off the steering wheel and letting the other person put theirs on it. You’ve given the person the choice to either help steer you to the smooth road or just violently pull you off a cliff. That’s what a relationship is to moi so how exactly does an open relationship work then?

But for real, I don’t know, we don’t know, we’re just 7 people who prefer to be one on one but if you think otherwise or you’re in an open relationship and it’s working out for you, then please comment down below on what your thoughts are on open relationships and why you think it’s okay but if you’re with us, then also comment down below to let us know that you’re in the squad!

Although I do feel like even if it’s an open relationship, certain lines could still be drawn. Like you don’t get to entangle with my friends or people we both know, something like that. Like there has to be some kinda boundaries.

Alright guys! That’s it for todayyyy, thanks for reading! If you’d like to know more about about our today’s guests then you can check them out on their social media handles. Thanks guysss! Kisses! Also, shout out to @odufao for being the first to comment AGAIN! Come on guyssss, really?!?

E: IG: esthernelson_

M: @spacebymeg on all platforms

B: Instagram: Beverly_asibor
Twitter: Beverly_asibor

T: Twitter : @hunterthewh0re

O: IG: chief_jine
Snapchat: chief_jine
Twitter: rogue_muffin

J: Instagram: the.unorthordox.creator