Blogmas D’13: Farewell My Dearest Big Brother, Jin

This post is very unplanned.

Infact for a while now, I’ve thought about if I wanted to write something grand or extra concerning this but I’ve decided against it. This post should be as calm and gentle but sad and happy, just like how I feel right now.

As most of you know, I’m a big fan of BTS so imagine how I must’ve felt about the news of their military enlistment.

It was a bittersweet feeling. I felt like “Finally…but I’ll miss them”. I can’t not be happy because this was a topic that had been weighing on our heads (especially, theirs) for a really long time and I’m glad that this is a decision they made on their own because they want to do it but at the same time I can’t not be sad because these are people that have somehow been there for me when I really needed it.

People don’t have to be physically with you or know you personally to be there for you, you know that right?

That’s how it is with BTS. Their music and everything they embody as humans, have somehow been a ray of hope, joy and light in my life.

Jin, the oldest member, finally left for the military but 8 hours ago. I was still trying to go to sleep when his message popped on my screen

I was so sad. Put on BTS’s music and cried my eyes out for about 2 hours till I felt better. And I thought, okay I’m fine now.

Woke up to my phone going off cause BTS were wishing him farewell across social media

Cried again cause I realized that I would have to say goodbye 6 more times.

Jin is like a big brother to me. As the first child who never really felt that “older sibling care”, I always feel touched whenever he asks us to stay warm, to not fall sick, to eat well etc. Watching the way he always takes care of the other members made me wish that I had an older sibling too.

He’s taught me to be confident in myself, to love myself, to take life as what it is and try my best to be happy.

I’ll miss him so much. 2024 (which is when he’ll be back from the military) is such a long time, it feels so far away but of course I’ll be here waiting, holding his music and words closest to my heart.

I wish him good health. I pray God protects him and brings him back safely to meet his family, friends and ARMY again.

Farewell my dearest big brother, Jinnie💜


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