My friendships this year started a little rocky as I hadn’t made physical contact with my friends since 2020. Day by day, I could feel the friendships I had start to slip through my grip…no matter how much I tried and it didn’t help that I’m a big introvert and somewhat anti-social.
At this time, all I had to fill that void was BTS (you thought I’d go one post without mentioning them, didn’t you?😏). Times when I missed hanging out with my friends, BTS cheered me, Run BTS especially. That was what kept me sane but of course, every good thing comes with sacrifices. Becoming a full fledged Army made me lose my connection with my friends as it felt like they didn’t understand me anymore. To them, I had changed.
I don’t think I changed though. I’ve always been me but BTS gave me the courage to come out as ME, to not be afraid to express my thoughts on certain opinions and situations, to put me first, to understand my worth and know what to tolerate and what I shouldn’t.
Most of my friends then were extroverts which was a huge imbalance because I am an extreme introvert. There were days I didn’t want to hangout but I felt like I had to so I don’t seem like a bad friend who always avoids her friends and even times when I decide to stand up for myself and say, “I don’t think I want to hangout”, it still came off as I was just trying to avoid them. I remember one of my friends called me a weirdo for saying I prefer having online church services than offline💀
I felt very misunderstood but I guess I never really voiced out my thoughts till BTS gave me that push and that’s when I realized how different I was from them.
For a while I felt like I had no friends. This was probably around March-May. Like there was no one I could think of going to when I wanted to talk about something or just vent out. All I had was BTS 💜
Then I resumed school mid May and I remember having so much anxiety on how things were going to be especially cause I had gone through a big change, I was now Army, my attitude, dressing, literally everything had changed (thanks to lockdown for giving me time to really know myself) but surprisingly, my roommates and I started to get along really well. I don’t know if it was because of Covid but it’s like because we hadn’t seen people or because we hadn’t been in school for so long, when we moved to our hostels, everyone suddenly became best friends 😂. I became really close with two of my roommates but one of them, I’m really grateful for. She’s not an Army though but she’s always willing to listen to me rant about BTS. I didn’t have lots of Army friends then, infact I think I had just one and we’re not even in the same state and since most people around me aren’t interested in listening to my rants, it upset me sometimes. But everytime I went to her, even though I was tentative, she would encourage me to talk and she even watched Dynamite and Butter MV and agreed to what the BBC Live Lounge performance with me. The day Billboard wrote that stupid article and I was so pissed, she listened wholeheartedly and even voiced her thoughts too. She probably didn’t talk it as anything huge but those moments really warmed my heart. She didn’t make me feel weird or strange for being an Army. Infact when one of my roommates would say offensive stuff, she would stand up for me. I don’t think she realized or realizes how much those little actions mean to me, I’m grateful for her everyday🤍 (why am I tearing up?)
Plus we’re so alike! I think the only difference between us is that I’m an Army😂. I’m not kidding✋🏽
Remember I mentioned that I became close to two of my roommates? Well the second one was always there in every way as a friend. Always trying to lighten my mood, her smile is the cutest. When I was sick, she accompanied me to the pharmacy. During exams when I was frustrated and I broke down, she prayed for me and legit hugged me till I stopped crying😂. On my birthday, she came from really really far to come and celebrate with me and practically dragged me out of my house. I felt touched cause all of my teenage years, most of my friends always complained of how far my house is so no one ever really came to hangout with me but she came from a really far place! It was touching and I had so much fun that day!
After The Bangtaniversary , I knew few Armys now. It was also around the time I met Poorwa and Pavithra, you can’t imagine how happy I was to find more Armys in this space and this made me want to interact with more bloggers even Non-Armys and now I have this cute community that encourage and cheer me on. A community, I’m very grateful for. Not a day goes by without me coming on WP to read your posts and some of you, we’ve even gone beyond WP and now send each other cute mails once in awhile. I love you all and even though we might forever remain just friends in the blogging space, I still really appreciate you and I’m proud of you🤍
I remember the day very well😂 18th June, when I joined this Nigerian Army gc on WhatsApp. Asides Muster Sowoozoo, I don’t think I had ever felt the joy I felt that day throughout this year. Like the vibeeee, the freaking energyyyyy🤩🤩🤩. They’re amazing. It felt like I was home, as weird as that might sound😂. Through that gc, I found lifelong (🤞🏽) friends. I met people that actually understand me and even those that don’t, we understand and respect our differences.
Friendships have never felt so stress free. No underlying grudges, no text me 24hrs, no hurtful gossips, no need to pretend. These people genuinely make me laugh till I cry (like BTS, like Army I guess). We’ve got so much going on in our lives individually so I love that we’ve created a sort of support system for ourselves.
I think the major difference between my past friendships and now is communication. In past friendships, I don’t think we communicated a lot like actual communication. There were a lot of things I shoved aside or ignored so it doesn’t seem like I’m just over sensitive or doing too much. Many times, I was annoyed by something but just let it slide eventually. I remember I caught my “friends” making fun of me but I didn’t do anything but in my mind, I’m like why would they? And these kind of things aren’t healthy for a friendship. In a friendship, you both or all should be able to sit down and have these conversations cause they help you understand each other better and this strengthens the friendship.
I love how very expressive I am with my friends now and vice versa. When something happens, we make sure to talk about it and then let go. That way, we know what we like and don’t like, when we’re joking and when we’re not and that reduces disagreements. I don’t feel like I have to pretend to please anyone and they’re so sweet! I love a lot and I care very deeply for the people I love and it feels great to have the same energy you give being given back to you. We’re very different but blend so well and it’s all thanks to BTS 💜
I can proudly say that my friendships right now is the best it’s been. That’s one less thing to worry about hehe
And that is the summary of my friendships in 2021! I hope you enjoyed my talkkk! Thank you very much for reading! Love youu🤍
NB: Armys still interesting in sharing their story of how Jimin has helped/impacted them, today is the last day! Mail: firstname.lastname@example.org