Your gurl had to take a break cause of exams and when the world gives me stress, I can’t add stress to it. I had been subtly coming up with ideas but I can’t push myself too hard cause Unilag already be doing that.
I actually have a huge project coming soon, in June. Been planning it for a while now and it is very very dear to my heart and hopefully to the hearts of many others so yeah, can’t wait for that to finally be published.
Enough diverting, back to the reason you clicked the link. Yes, we are talking about Feminism today and yes, it’s a two part series.
Feminism is something I think a lot of people are confused or ignorant on, some people think they know what it is but they actually don’t, y’all get the drill. It’s a sensitive topic that is discussed a lot and sometimes feared to be discussed at all so I made sure to select people I feel will do partial if not total justice to the questions I compiled. Without further ado…
INTRODUCING THE BLOG GUESTS!
I feel like I shouldn’t drag this post anymore cause y’all are probably already eager for the Q/A.
1. Who is a feminist to you?
Makua: A feminist is someone who believes that being a woman shouldn’t be a reason for oppression, lack of opportunities or availability of choice.
Ore: A feminist is a person who believes in the equality of the sexes.
Esosa: Someone who advocates or believes in equality of the sexes.
Odufa: A feminist is ANY PERSON who believes and advocates for true equality between sexes.
Urah: A feminist is someone who believes in the equality of all sexes regardless of their religion ethnicity or sexuality.
Jessica: A feminist is someone who carries women and men’s rights on their head while understanding the historical value of the fight and the current societal imbalance
2. What are your thoughts on Christian ladies/women who believe feminism is wrong because they believe the Bible preaches that, “Men are to be superior to women”?
Makua: I cannot speak as to their reasons. I will however say that the times in which the bible was written was very different hence some things written I personally do not exactly agree with. We do see Jesus championing the women. We have the story of the woman who was almost stoned to death whom he saved.
Ore: My response would be that the bible also says that we are all one in Christ. Men lead the home yes, but leadership does not entail superiority.
Esosa: That’s the thing. The Bible doesn’t say men are superior to women. The Bible says that we are all equal(Paul) but women are supposed to submit to their husbands. Who, in turn, love their wives as Christ loves the Church.
Odufa: Honestly, most people just pick out verses or parts of the bible that suit the argument or conversation they are having and leave out the rest. The entire bible is a story of God’s love and gift of salvation to us through Jesus Christ.
God loves all of us, man and woman and it is written many times that we are all one in Christ. (Galatians 3:28 is a beautiful verse to look at).
Urah: I think that those women are ignorant because some of them might not have been in position whereby they have been put down because of their gender or maybe they have but they just don’t care.
Jessica: I’m only receptive to people willing to learn and voluntary ignorance will always disgust me, whether it be religiously motivated or not. It’s just sad that certain women choose to be blind to their oppression. Unfortunately you can’t free a slave that doesn’t believe he’s being enslaved. So they’re not my headache.
3. Would you say your version of feminism is “nuanced”. How do you explain feminism and who personally influenced you to being a feminist?
Makua: Honestly, I’ll explain using the definition. In my opinion it is self explanatory. I’m a bit inquisitive. Growing up, I remember asking questions that had people staring. I always said things like if he can do it, I can too. I remember telling my mum my brother has to cook too if I had to cook. The people and friends I made especially in secondary I would say also subtly influenced and the books I read (read a lot).
Fun-fact: I’ve read all of Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s books.
Ore: I wouldn’t say my version of feminism is nuanced. I would say reading about feminism influenced me the most.
Esosa: Chimamanda influenced me to be a feminist tbh. For me, I’d say I just want women to thrive basically.
Odufa: No. Feminism is about equality of sexes. That’s all. It’s not complicated at all.
I’m part of the people that advocate for more feminist movies/series because I honestly got most of my first education about feminism from them. I also had personal life experiences that made me become a feminist. But yeah, most actresses that I love inspired me to be a feminist.
Urah: No I don’t think it is nuanced.
Feminism to me is one of the most important movements ever . Over the years women all over have been put down, harassed, and told what they can and cannot do, it is only right for us to stand up and speak up that we don’t care about your opinion about us, we are human beings and just because we aren’t the gender “society” made superior doesn’t mean we can’t make decisions of our own or are not allowed to do certain things and be important people in the society. Nobody in particular inspired me, I grew up in a society with nonsense beliefs, about how a woman should be and as I grew up I realized I didn’t like how all that sounded. It was wrong I mean why should I not be an important figure in the society because I am a woman? Why is my role only second to a man’s? So when I got to know that I wasn’t the only one who thought this way and they were other women speaking about this, I decided that I needed to be one of them and I am proud to be one of them. I guess you could say I inspired myself or society did.
Jessica: Yes, i definitely think my version of feminism is more nuanced than most Nigerians simply because i believe as a feminist, my fight is for the liberation of all oppressed groups and the promotion of universal human rights. In my fight, i remember the disabled, the gays and the trans individuals and many other marginalized groups. I don’t think i have the energy to explain feminism anymore. It’s a very broad concept you either understand or you don’t. If it’s unclear, google it. The time to raise awareness or educate people about ongoing social issues has passed. If you’re not educated it’s because you choose to wallow in your ignorance. Nobody “influenced” me to be a feminist. I was a born a woman. That was enough reason.
4. Do you believe men and women are different based on more than the biological level? like attitude wise, levels of reasoning and coping. Some feminists will argue that they are the same while some will disagree.
Makua: Biologically, yes. There are evident differences. Even in hormones produced, pain resistance levels etc (some people are exceptions). These biological differences affect more than just our systems. Hormones regulate moods, pain etc. So in some ways I agree there are differences (not necessarily all).
Ore: I say everyone is different when it comes to levels of reasoning and coping or emotional intelligence. To me, it has very little to do with one’s gender and more with their experiences and interaction with their environment. Though this interaction might be influenced by their gender, it is not solely based on that. Someone doesn’t think a certain way because “he is a boy”. Not all boys think the same. Not all girls think the same. Gender might influence a person’s reasoning but it is not the sole reason for it.
Esosa: We’re definitely different biologically. But for attitude, reasoning and coping, I’ll always say that we’re the same. It is our society and background that moulds us to be who we are. Nobody is born more emotional than the other person, people differ based on who they are, not their gender.
Odufa: (As a scientist😂) A lot of biological factors influence physical, physiological and other factors. So in those areas I’d say yes. Behaviorally though, no and i blame the society and toxic masculinity for the differences we see. We have to do better.
Urah: if it’s more than just the biological level, then I can certainly say that they are not different, we have seen women today who are phenomenal at what they do, there is nothing they cannot do, To be honest I don’t see what the men do that is sooo hard that people say ohhh a woman can’t do that. I remember the belief that was and still is soo common in Africa that a woman can never be a president because she doesn’t have the “balls” to run a country but recently in Tanzania, samai suluhu Hassan is the first Muslim female president of that country and there many other African women who have also proved society wrong. Women can do it too and they can do it better.
Jessica: I believe that we need to slow down on gendering issues and categorizing individuals. ALL individuals are different, reason differently and will react to situations differently. No individual is the same and similarities observed in certain individuals are merely due to cultural influences. If you see certain women or men behave similarly in certain ways it’s because of global cultural circumstances and societal norms that dictate their upbringing in the name of order and categorization. I don’t believe it has to do with biology.
5. What are the common mistakes that men who support feminism make while supporting feminism?
Makua: I would say making it seem like they are doing women a favour (some).
Ore: A lot of men speak as though they know what women go through. While it may come from a place of empathy, there is no way he can ever fully understand. The same way I can’t fully understand what he goes through. So I think more men should approach feminism from an angle of willingness to listen and learn as opposed to defending themselves or “speaking from experience”.
Esosa: Wanting applause for doing the bare minimum. That’s for some people.
Odufa: A lot of men see feminism as a women fight. And their support is more like “Oh I’m helping the women fight for equality” instead of “I’m fighting for equality” because a feminist is anybody and should be everybody.
Jessica: All feminists sometimes don’t realize certain ingrained biases we have. It might be in speech or actions, sometimes men (and women) don’t realize that some actions or things they say are detrimental to the movement. Everybody just needs to be open to learn and unlearn. Review certain jokes, check your friends and read up on things you’re unsure about.
6. Do you think the media is doing a good job at portraying strong willed female characters in recent movies like Enola Holmes, Moxie, Raya and the last dragon and many more? Or do you think there’s still so much to be worked on in the media production industry?
Makua: In recent years more light has been shed and work towards women empowerment growing.
There is always room for improvement and inclusion though.
Ore: The media has come a long way in its portrayal of women but there’s always room for improvement.
Esosa: There’s definitely still more work to be done, but I believe that it’s better than it used to be.
Odufa: I’ve seen moxie about 5 times and I’ve lost count for Enola Holmes😂. Most of my early education on feminism came from watching movies so I’d say yes. But there’s always more work to be done especially in number of films being produced that talk about feminism.
Urah: I love what the media is doing in promoting these characters. I am always more inspired anytime I watch these movies they could do soo much more yes but so farrr I love it.
Jessica: There’s always room for improvement. We still need to get past that phase of “inclusivity for inclusivity’s sake”
7. Most feminists love to point out inequalities leaning in favor of men. Do you think there are inequalities that also lean in favor of women and what are they?
Makua: Yes, but I think the issue is that even these inequalities that lean “in women’s favour” still don’t truly stand for all women. Some might even be a bit problematic.
Ore: I think there are inequalities in favor of women. Girls are allowed to express their emotions freely compared to men, especially in our culture. This is just one example.
Esosa: Yes there are. The thing with this patriarchy thing is that everybody chops the useless breakfast lol💀. Women SOMETIMES benefit from being treated gentler, or with more understanding than men. To an extent sha, all the things we benefit from, we’re still shamed for it so i don’t know if it’s still an advantage.
Odufa: I won’t say there are inequalities per say that favor women. Most of the favors that women have come from a place of pity or view of women as weak. For instance say a building is burning, they prioritize getting the women and children out first because there’s this common view of us being the weaker gender and so we need help first when the people that should be getting help first are the handicaps or people who are sick or can’t actually help themselves.
Jessica: A lot of situations that aren’t favorable to men in our society are also part of the feminist fight and i need men to understand that. We understand the system against you. We see the pressure you go through. But are you willing to help yourselves? Are you willing to drop toxic masculine habits? Are you willing to stop shaming fellow men? are you willing to collectively speak up about your issues? Shame culture will only disappear if you collectively fight against it. Men suffer from mental health issues but will refuse to admit it or go to therapy. The only reason women are where they are today is because they decided to push back against the barriers set by society. Society has fucked us all up. Be the change you want to see and take the peace of mind you deserve by fire by force.
8. Why do you think a lot of men/guys are hesitant to identify as feminists even if they want to?
Makua: I really can’t speak for them as reasons might vary however, my perception is the fear of being considered a “simp” or bullied.
Ore: I think it is for the same reason that some girls don’t identify as feminists. Feminism is portrayed very negatively on platforms like twitter. I think that there are also some aspects of feminism that people disagree with.
Esosa: It’s the perception that supporting women is weakness. Like “you no be man”.
Odufa: I don’t know for them ooooo. I blame toxic masculinity.
Urah: I think it’s Because of toxic masculinity and they are afraid of being cast out as if they have broken a guys rule by siding with the “opposition “ while some are afraid that people might think they are gay which is absurd.
Jessica: Shame culture. But it’s not an excuse. You’re not a feminist if you’re ashamed to identify as one my dear. You can’t eat your cake and have it. You wanna be a feminist but still engage in a lifestyle/surround yourself with people that engage in a lifestyle that doesn’t live up to what you’re meant to stand for? Nah my g. Feminists are proud of who they are and the movement deserves nothing less. Period.
9. Can you tell any experience you’ve had that has made you realize that this country is far behind on the quest for equality?
Makua: Everyday life in Nigeria. You don’t even have to look far. From the way people address women to the assumptions made. To the harassment in market places.
Ore: Several things demonstrate that.
Esosa: They’re too many to count. But the latest one I’ll say is Yaba market. Those men that touch you and don’t know how to accept a “no”.
Odufa: The most recent experience I remember was something that happened with Rita Dominic.
Everyone knows how accomplished she is, the work she has done and the way she has fought her way to the top. But in her recent interview with Chude where she talks about her work, the only thing that was amplified was her martial life and status.
I loved her comeback about going to watch her new movie if they want to see her married because she’s married in the movie😂.
Urah: Well there was this one that was rather shocking to me because the person I had the conversation with is around my age and all. So I wanted to go for a position in my school there is the main position and there is the assistant position so the person I was supposed to go against was a friend of mine who was a guy and we were in the same department also, so one of his friends came to meet me and we were talking and I suggested that one of us should go for the assistant position then the other will take the main position and he said sounds good and then I said well I want to take the main position I have always wanted to so if he doesn’t mind he should take the assistant position and then he says that’s wrong now that his friend can’t take the assistant position I asked why and he said because he is a guy that it’s a girl that is supposed to take the assistant position. I was like excuse me what generation are you living in exactly?. It may not look like a big deal but then it got me thinking how they could be many other people regardless of the generation and time they were burn who think like this and I just felt sad for them.
Jessica: I don’t need an experience. Section 55(1)(d) of the penal code of northern nigeria:(1) Nothing is an offence which does not amount to the infliction of grievous hurt upon any persons which is done (d) by a husband for the purpose of correcting his wife, such husband and wife being subject to any native law or custom in which such correction is recognized as lawful. DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IS LEGAL. No further comment.
10. What are some topics you would like to see addressed and how?
Makua: Rape and harassment culture. The judiciary system in place doesn’t do enough to help those who are victims get justice. The laws in place are backwards and not inclusive. Imagine the constitution does not recognise marital rape.
Ore: I think we need to normalize our differences and be more tolerant of them. People always attack others when they have a different opinion or lifestyle and it’s a lot of unneccessary aggression.
Esosa: Marriage. Like it’s not mandatory for women. Child birth too. Love that more women are being honest about their experiences, but women are still being shamed for their bodies.
Odufa: Environmentalism! Nigerian are far and are not even ready to hear that they can’t throw their finished fanta bottles out of their car windows anymore. But we need to start amplifying talking about taking care of our environment.
Climate change is real.
We need to all start taking responsibility for our environments and playing our parts.
Urah: I want young girls to know their rights and be reminded that they can be who they want to be regardless of what ever society says in other words I am saying that we should try and reach out to high schoolers , I think feminist women can form a platform or organization where they can reach out to them and talk to them about how and why feminism is a worthy and important movement .
Jessica: ABOLISH THE SAME SEX MARRIAGE PROHIBITION ACT (SSMPA) GAY PEOPLE DESERVE RIGHTS. BISEXUAL PEOPLE DESERVE RIGHTS. LESBIANS DESERVE RIGHTS. TRANS PEOPLE DESERVE RIGHTS.
Alrightttyy, enough of the serious talk! We’re ending this very serious but enlightening post with our usual tension dropping segment, “The Tag”. 😌
1. If animals could talk, which do you think would be the rudest?
Makua: Cat or snakes.
Ore: Chickens or turkeys…they’re too violent
Esosa: The peacock. Just looks proud😂
Odufa: Parrots definitely!
2. Would you rather have no nose or no arms and why?
Makua: Please both 😂
Ore: No nose…this question seems easy at first but think how different your face would look without a nose. My arms are just too useful.
Esosa: No nose. I don’t know I feel like I would still survive.
Odufa: No arms. I just think it’s survival rate is higher with no arms instead of no nose😂
Urah: I’d rather have no nose because I feel I can without smelling i guess😂.
3. What is your spirit animal and why?
Makua: Probably a dog. They are all rounders (beautiful, playful, loyal and friendly).
Ore: I don’t have a sprit animal.
Esosa: I’m not sure.
Odufa: Horses, they are elegant and graceful. And I love that you can actually connect with them.
Urah: I am not really an animal person I just love cats but I don’t think it is my spirit animal .
4. What would be your weapon of choice in a zombie apocalypse and why?
Makua: Anything that can kill the zombies.
Ore: If there was a zombie apocalypse I’d run into the street tbh…I don’t like suspense.
Esosa: Long knife to cut their heads😭
Odufa: A hammer, because that usually works best in most of the zombie games I’ve played 😂
5. If you could be in any movie, what would it be and why?
Makua: A marvel movie. They hardly have a bad movie, excellent production and exposure.
Ore: I’d probably be in a comedy about friends.
Esosa: Any Disney movie to be honest😭(apart from Snow White eww).
Odufa: I don’t think I can actually chose one. Maybe a week away? Cause the singing and dancing really looked fun😂
Urah: Definitely Moxie because I want to be part of that movement.
And that concludes the entire Q/A segment for today! Personally, I enjoyed it. I think it was very enlightening and I think for some people, it would definitely serve as an eye-opener. I think a lot of people actually don’t understand what feminism entails and that’s very poor cause Bruv, there’s the internet, there are all these available media! Do your research and stop being ignorant, it’s that simple!
So like I mentioned earlier, this is a two part series. The second part, our guests will be answering questions from you guys! So all you have to do is, click the link right below this and send in your questions.
I’ll also put up the question poll on my blog’s Instagram account (anytime I remember during the week 😗) so you can send in your questions through there as well.
This is a good way to comeback right? I missed blogging a lot, coming up with content and wondering if it’s blog worthy then deciding the questions, who to feature, it takes effort but it’s fun. Some of my friends also texted me that they missed my blog and they’re excited for my next post so I hope this is nice and I hope y’all enjoyed this post!
Thank you guys for your support! And like always, if you would like to know more about today’s blog guests or you just like their beautiful faces, their social media handles will be right below. Love you guys so much! Annyeong!🤍
Makua: Ig: makua_o
Esosa: Instagram: esosa_osunde
Odufa: IG: odufaoshiomah_
LinkedIn: Odufa Oshiomah
Urah: Instagram @b.l.a.c.k.c.o.c.o
Jessica: IG: @jbabeee
YouTube: JESSICA AJAYI