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Shame On Body Shamers!

Heyyyyyyyyy

It’s me, again, as you all know😌.

Today, I’m excited because I will be answering the questions you guys sent in on body shaming but I will not be doing it alone! My Soul-Twinnie (if you don’t know what it is, it’s basically someone who kinda thinks in a way like you, not entirely though, loves practically everything you love, goes through almost every occurrence you’ve gone through, basically you’re connected in soul and spirit) will be answering these questions with moi. You might remember her from the Girls Only Post, Introducing my soul sister (who is 8 days younger than me!)!!!, Sophie!!!

Soph, what’s your view on the questions we’re answering today?

Sophie: The questions were quite deep, at first I didn’t think I’d be able to answer them because the student in me has died and I’m looking for a new one but I guess I enjoyed answering them, they made me think hard.

I enjoyed answering them as well and I hope you guys would enjoy reading them!

Anyways, now to the main part of this post, the questions!!! Most of the questions were similar so I had to round them down to just 10. Let’s get into it!

1. How do we overcome our negative body image thoughts?

Sophie: A, Umm, I feel like there is no point in stressing because its your body and you’re not going to get another one. B, Stop comparing yourself with other people because more often than not the people you’re trying to be like might also be trying to be like you. C, Stressing and beating yourself up about it isn’t worth it and it’s definitely detrimental to your mental health. D, You can also work on yourself, get on a diet or meal plan, start making healthier choices, exercise more, focus on yourself and your growth and set a goal for yourself. Make sure these goals are realistic and attainable because if they aren’t, you might be setting yourself up for failure. E, Overall, a key thing is loving yourself no matter what, changing what we can and accepting what we can’t.

Ib: I think that overcoming negative thoughts on your body basically begins with you because what you feed your brain is what it processes. So if you have friends that continually say negative stuff about your body or if you, yourself, say a lot of negative stuff about your body then eventually your brain picks it and processes it and then keeps replaying it for you. Hence, the negative thoughts.

2. How do we change our conversation so we stop shaming ourselves and others?

Ib: Firstly, if you don’t want to have conversations that shame people then avoid having conversations with people who do. Also, there are people that do it unintentionally so you could just call them out nicely or fiercely, however you like😂. That changes the conversation.

Sophie: Teach people compassion and kindness, to treat people the way they’d like to be treated and to see people for people and not their bodies.
Stop being shallow

3. Is it normal to feel like we don’t like our bodies?

Sophie: I mean, everybody feels self-conscious about their bodies every once in a while, but if you not liking your body begins to interfere with your life and happiness it could mean you could have something called Body Dysmorphic Disorder.

Ib: No it’s not normal. No one should ever feel like they don’t like their bodies cause if you don’t, who will?

4. The definition of body shaming can vary. Based on your understanding, can you define what fat shaming is?

Ib: Fat shaming, to me, is ridiculing people just because of their size. Just cause you see them as “fat”.

Sophie: Singling out and humiliating a person deemed to be “fat”, “big” or “overweight” by making snide comments about their size, lifestyle or eating habits, telling them to eat less, etc.

5. Is body weight a good health status indicator?

Sophie: Body weight on its own cannot be used to ascertain how healthy a person is, many things put together determine how healthy a person is. Many factors like one’s body mass index, body composition, fat distribution, nutrition, how much exercise you’re getting, the level of hygiene being maintained, one’s habits (whether one smokes or drinks alcohol and how much they drink, etc). A bigger sized person could be eating healthier than a person who is thinner, the thinner person could be an anorexic for all we know (a condition which turns life threatening fast).

Ib: Nope. Definitely not. I weigh less than 90kg (I’m not sure of the exact weight) and I don’t really eat the healthiest foods or at the healthiest times and I don’t even exercise😂. I’m practically a flat couch potato and I’ve met bigger people who live much healthier than I do. Unless it’s a case of obesity, then you probably need to check that out because it could be detrimental to your health.

6. What is so wrong in being fat?

Ib: Absolutely nothing. It’s just a matter of preference and most people prefer being slim. Unfortunately, social media has given us the medium to be vocal about it and also to be condescending of others who we regard as “fat”.

Sophie: I wouldn’t say there’s anything wrong with being a bit bigger, I mean if it’s not harmful to your health then you’re fine. But if you’re borderline obese than you should really make lifestyle changes.

7. Why do guys body shame plus sized women, date slender and tall women and then end up marrying fat women? I need to understand.

Sophie: Ummm I’m not a guy so I can’t answer that.

Ib: I’m not a guy so I don’t know about that but it could also be a matter of preference or the guy is maybe just confused.

8. What would you say to any body shamer you meet?

Ib: You need to do BETTER BRUV! In this year 2020? In this climate? With everything going on right now, you wanna be body shaming? You must be dense!

Sophie: I would say they’re really shallow and superficial to judge someone based on their looks and body size. People come in all different shapes and sizes and beneath the surface, they are still people like you and I.

9. What do you do when you’re body shamed?

Sophie: I personally haven’t experienced body shaming.

Ib: Whenever I get comments like “You’re too thin”, “You’re basically just bone”, “I can fling you”, etc, I go to the mirror and I take thirsty pics 😂. I never show anyone or I might show maybe my closest friend but the overall purpose is to feel myself and assure myself that the person is spewing crap 😊. And it helps a lot 😂

10. What is your advice to everyone who is depressed due to body shamers?

Ib: I’d say that you should never allow other people’s opinions about your body affect you because it’s stupid to listen to what people say about you if they’re not adding any usual change in your life. Eg, If you applied for a modeling job and they’re like “oh you’re not what we’re looking or” then you should probably take that to heart and work on it if you really want to be a model but if Macy from primary school who just got a liposuction is telling you that your shape is weird then please hit her face with a bat.

Sophie: I think you should learn to accept yourselves for who you are, because until you can do that and learn to love yourself, no amount of advice would help. In addition to that, you could always make lifestyle changes, go to the gym more often, give up bad habits like eating at 2am, reduce soda intake, swap out those sugary and salty snacks for fruit snacks or even yoghurt, drink more water, get more sleep. But even with these, there is only so much you can change and control, so I would say self-love and acceptance.

Anonymous: Just don’t care about what people have to say about your body tbh. Easier said than done, I know, but it really is the only way. Also, there’s more to you than just your looks. Anyways, God loves you and you should love you too!

And that’s a wrap!!!!

I really really hope you guys liked it!

To anyone going through body shaming just because of their weight or shape, know that you’re beautiful just the way you are and no one can take that away. Plays Scars to Your Beautiful by Alessia Cara.

Alsooooo, we have new adverts this week! If you like sweet, delicious peppery snails then you’re in luck because Davennissnails’s got you covered. If you’re interested in growing your brand, making flyers, logos etc, then Emmy’s Concept is here! And if you’re a fan of lipglosses like I am, Kaasobeauty is the way! Go check them out on my advert page right now!

Anyways, till next week! Drops ink

Follow my blog page on IG: @_itsib

Sophie: @s.omo.x

Ib: @ibu_kunnnn

By Ib Adepoju

I’m Adepoju Ibukun, a writer and student of University of Lagos, studying Real Estate. I’m a young adult trying to sort out life.

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